Welcome

I am a young newlywed LESBIAN that is trying to adjust to my new life. I am the typical 22 year old woman. My life mirrors other heterosexual women my age or may be even better. October 24th I became Mrs. Jones and married the person of my dreams. That person just so happens to be a woman. She is all of the things that I prayed for. I have dated and had serious relationships with men and women, mostly men and out of all of them , she is the best person to ever enter into my life.
Over the last 8 or 9 months, I have been rapidly gaining weight. I never really thought about it or noticed it until everyone else did. Its a classic female thing to let yourself go once you have found that unconditional love that you search for. When I met my spouse, I was a size 6/7( and that was bigger than normal) and now I am an 11/12 or maybe bigger. I have gained all of this weight within the last 8 or 9 months.

For the last few months, I have been complaining about the frequency of our sex declining. I find myself initiating sex VERY often and even more often, being rejected because she's "too tired" from work. As a woman, I have always been chased and been the person to say no so this has been eating at me. My spouse does work a 12 hour day but she has had almost the same schedule since I met her and that didn't affect our sex then.

Finally tonite, we were discussing some of our friends and their relationship when she said that it is really hard to tell someone you love that you are unhappy with their weight. I decided to ask her if that is how she feels and if so to tell me. She finally said that she still finds me very attracted but if I get any bigger that she will not be as attracted to me. She also said that she would be happier if I was smaller and that some of the reason she doesn't want to have sex is because of my size. She said that my whole attitude about myself as changed and that it is not attractive.

I am really unhappy with myself now. When I met her, I was a model and was making a name for myself and now all I hear from everyone that knew me as a model is "Wow, you sure are getting big". I have never had to deal with something like this and I am afraid that it will ruin this marriage.

A friend and I are planning to go on a diet soon and start exercising. I am just concerned that once I lose the weight, I am resentful of my spouse for not loving me no matter how big I am.